


A Holly Jolly Doppleganger

by ScripStrel



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: Character Death Fix, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Movies, Crack Treated Seriously, Ethan didn't die, F/M, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Found Family, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Reindeer, Santa Claus is Going to High School, Snowball Fight, minimal plot, no editing we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23973511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScripStrel/pseuds/ScripStrel
Summary: Lex and Hannah have never really celebrated Christmas. They've never had much of a chance.But Ethan's holiday movie lookalike has Hannah convinced that Santa will come this year.And Ethan Green had better keep his promises.
Relationships: Lex Foster/Ethan Green
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	A Holly Jolly Doppleganger

Well, it wasn’t Christmas in California, but it would do. 

Hannah was rocking slightly in the theatre seat next to her, playing with the fraying edge of her flannel. Ethan’s arm was wrapped around Lex’s shoulders, tapping his fingers against her arm in time with the movie’s shitty soundtrack. 

The Lakeside Cineplex had been reduced to ash with the rest of the mall, so they had an excuse to waste the day and see a movie in Clivesdale, where the seats had cushions and the popcorn didn’t taste like stale cardboard. The movie was still shit, though. It was mass-market holiday crap mixed with a sitcom’s special TV movie. Melodrama, “inspirational” underdog sports speeches, and zero grasp on how high school or teenagers actually work. 

But Hannah wanted to see it, and who was Lex to argue? She was just glad the world had stopped ending. 

Black Friday was a not-so-distant memory. Webby said that Wiggly wasn’t gone, but the toys were. At the stroke of midnight, a whoosh rang overhead, and then… nothing. Lex knew something was probably supposed to happen. A nuke, a meteor, everyone waking up from the nightmare of the last eighteen hours. But nothing did. Just the noise and a horrible shaking deep in her chest. Hannah passed out, muttering about Webby and Wiggly and the Black and White and Lex felt like she was going to throw up. The fire department dragged Ethan’s unconscious body from the smoldering mall and she did throw up. 

He spent three weeks recovering from his near-death experience. Their California fund would spend much longer recovering from the hospital bills. But they were all alive. The dolls had mysteriously vanished. They were together. 

Lex leaned into Ethan’s side. He grinned down at her. He was still weak, nursing a skull fracture, a stab wound, and second-degree burns, but he wasn’t a barbecued corpse, and that was good enough for Lex. 

“Hi,” he whispered. They were alone in the theatre, but he knew that Hannah got really frustrated with people talking during movies. 

“Hey.” Lex said. Ethan was bathed in bluish light from the screen and it turned his features soft. “You should kiss me.”

He scrunched up his nose and his smile turned into a smirk. “I don’t want to miss any of this great movie.”

“You’re a dumbass.”

Ethan shrugged. “The tunes are catchy, you gotta admit.”

“C’mon.”

“Only if you tell me what I asked for for Christmas when I was seven years old.”

Lex glared at him. “Fuck you.”

“Hey now,” he said, giving her shoulders a squeeze, “not in front of the kid,” and Lex was about to either kiss him or cuss him out when Hannah shushed them.

The theatre lobby was nearly deserted, late-afternoon light streaming in through the glass doors. The air stunk of burnt popcorn and spilled soda. A cheesy ad featuring animated snack foods played on the concession counter’s televisions, telling them to buy a rewards card or some shit. Ethan’s arm was looped around Lex’s waist. She leaned into his side as much as she dared with his injuries. 

Ethan twirled his jangling keychain around one finger, humming a song from the movie under his breath. “You’re gonna drive me nuts with that,” Lex told him. She wasn’t about to admit that it was nice to hear him sing. He’d stop as soon as she pointed it out. Ethan didn’t sing very often, but Lex had always thought he had a gorgeous voice. 

Just maybe less so when it was being used for this.

He grinned and started singing louder, making a show of mimicking the ridiculous melodrama from the movie. He rocked her in time with him, and before she knew what was happening, he dipped her backwards and knocked the air out of her with a kiss. He tasted like popcorn salt and nicotine gum, and Lex pressed back up into him, gripping at the front of his leather jacket. His hands were warm and strong against the small of her back, holding her suspended in the air as her stomach dropped. Ah, the benefits of teasing her boyfriend. 

“We don’t have a chimney.” Hannah’s voice seemed to come from miles away. Lex and Ethan pulled apart, out of breath. Hannah stood a few feet ahead of them, staring up at an over-edited poster for the movie they’d just suffered through. 

Ethan chuckled. “You live in a trailer, Banana. It would burn down.”

She drew her gaze to him, wide and curious. “You couldn’t bring us presents like everyone else. No chimney.”

“What are you talking about?” Lex asked. “Ethan gives you all sorts of presents.” At that moment, Hannah was bundled in one of Ethan’s old flannels, her hands bunched in the oversized sleeves. Her hat, too, had been a gift from Ethan, even if it was now soot-stained because they had to retrieve it from one of Wiggly’s cultists as the mall burned down. 

Hannah shook her head. “No. Santa.”

“What?” 

“Doesn’t bring us Santa presents,” Hannah said, still staring at Ethan like she was trying to make sense of him. Lex followed her gaze, only to meet a bemused look from Ethan. He raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

“North pole,” Hannah insisted. “Red and green. Kringle.”

Great, so now the inter-dimensional god spider was in on it. Lex had been trying her best not to discount Webby since her own experiences with the Black and White, but sometimes she was still sure Hannah used her as an excuse. Like blaming an imaginary friend. Or, a real friend, as it was. Just because Webby probably existed didn’t mean she couldn’t get used as a scapegoat.

It probably didn’t help that… Well… Part of what she said was true. They never  _ did  _ get presents from Santa. Their mom obviously didn’t give a shit, and since Lex had never grown up with it, she hadn’t thought to give Hannah that “regular kid” experience. She didn’t realize her sister might’ve felt left out.

Lex crouched down to look her in the eye. “Hannah,” she said, treading carefully. “You know Santa’s not real…”

She just stared back, eyes dark and knowing. God, Lex hated that she could do that. Her kid sister could give her that  _ look _ that Lex usually associated with Ethan’s eccentric uncle. Or with weird, gray-haired adults in general. Like she’d seen things beyond what she was supposed to, was wise beyond her years, and—in the case of Uncle Henry—might’ve been a bit insane. Lex couldn’t talk back against that look, and she definitely couldn’t talk Hannah out of whatever the hell she’d gotten her mind set on. 

“Let me try,” Ethan coaxed Lex to her feet and took her spot kneeling next to Hannah. “Okay, Split,” he said, “you’re right. I look a lot like the guy from the flick. You know why that is?” He looked over his shoulder dramatically, as if checking for eavesdroppers and loudly whispered, “Did I ever tell you I have an evil twin brother?”

Lex snorted. “You’d be the evil one.”

He glared at her. “Fine. A long-lost twin brother. He disappeared when we were kids. And you won’t believe this part.” Ethan paused for dramatic effect. Hannah was leaning forward, intent on his every animated expression. “Little  _ elves _ took him. I always thought I made it up, but you know what? They must’ve took him to the North Pole, and he grew up to be Santa!” 

“Brother,” Hannah said, as if trying to give shape to the word. 

“Sure!” Ethan’s curls bounced on his forehead as he threw his arms out in a shrug. “Hell, how ‘bout you write him a letter this year? It’s a little close to Christmas, but I’m sure he would fire up the toy presses just for you.”

“Promise?” Hannah’s voice was hushed, like she didn’t quite believe him. He just smiled back, sincerity behind his eyes.

“Oh yeah, he does it all the time. Besides, he’s Santa. It’s his job, isn’t it?”

She bit her lip. “Webby says no brothers.”

“No?” Ethan shot Lex a nervous look. 

Lex knew there was no way she’d be able to live up to Ethan’s bluff. She didn’t have the means to give Hannah a real Christmas, much less one worthy of the promise of Santa. She barely had enough cash for gas to get home. But she couldn’t dash her hopes so soon. “What does Webby think about writing him a letter just in case?” She asked. Maybe she could swipe one of Mom’s old necklaces and pawn it off… 

“I mean, he can’t  _ really _ need a chimney nowadays,” Ethan said. 

Hannah scrutinized them, eyes darting back and forth. She stared hard at Ethan, scanning and analyzing him. Lex had to give him credit for not shying away from her piercing look, instead making a face and sticking out his tongue. Hannah’s trance broke and she giggled. 

“Webby says I can give Green Santa a letter,” she finally decided, and that was it. Hannah turned her attention to folding the cuffs of her mittens into her coat sleeves. 

Ethan stood, rubbing his palms on his jeans. He intertwined his hand with Lex’s, resting his head on top of hers and smiling fondly at Hannah. “So I’m thinking Angel for a girl and Bobby for a boy,” he said.

Lex laughed. “Unless  _ you’re _ planning to grow a human inside you.” She glared sideways at him.

Ethan just shook his head and took his hand back to zip his jacket. He glanced at the movie poster in all its over-edited glory, Teenage Santa looming over them with a melodramatic dopey look on his face. “That actor does look a bit like me, huh?”

“Your long-lost twin,” Lex teased. 

Still squinting at his doppleganger, he grinned. “Imagine if Mom took him with her when she scrammed. Fucked off to Hollywood and went Mama Rose on the poor kid.”

“Maybe you could introduce me. See if he could get me a gig.”

“ _Merry Christmas!_ ” Ethan said to the poster. “ _We’ve never met, but I might be your brother and my girlfriend needs a job._ ” He turned back to Lex. “Is showbiz really that easy?”

She shrugged. “Hey, any connection is a good connection… So I’ve heard.”

Hannah was getting antsy, but Ethan didn’t seem to be in any hurry to get them back to the Jalopy (as he affectionately called his secondhand minivan), and even if Lex was the hospital-ordered DD, he refused to let her hold on to his keys until she was in the driver’s seat. (“I love ya, Lex,” he’d joke, “But we both know you’re just a flirt compared to Jolly, and I gotta protect my baby.”) He was much more keen on kicking snow everywhere and pretending to slip in the slushy parking lot. Eventually Lex decided to bean him with a snowball and it turned into an all-out war, with Hannah gleefully throwing handfuls of loose snow at both them and herself. 

Lex managed to direct the battle in the direction of the car, and just missed nailing Ethan in the head as he ducked into the Jalopy. Her snowball vaporized against the window. 

“That’s not fair! No head shots!” Ethan said. “I’ve got brain trauma, remember?”

“Fuck you.” Lex leaned against the car and caught her breath. Hot clouds of air crystalized as they left her lips. 

Ethan unfolded himself from the passenger seat, stretching to stand next to her. His skin glowed pink from laughter and cold. Lex didn’t like that he didn’t own a real winter coat, but she couldn’t really judge, because while he was brushing snow off his leather jacket, she was left shivering and soaked in her layered hoodie and denim. It would have to be enough that he’d agreed to wear the crudely knitted beanie that she’d made for him while he was bedridden. Yes, it was dorky, but one of the nurses had offered to teach her to keep her mind off his injuries. That and the smug satisfaction she got when she actually talked him into wearing it. Not to mention the way his hair fluffed up in the front when it was knocked askew—like it was now. 

He was breathing heavily, frost-kissed features shining in the dying winter sunlight, smile stretched towards his ears, and wearing the stupid beanie. He had rosy cheeks and a cherry nose and twinkling eyes. Lex was pretty sure he was the prettiest thing she’d ever seen. 

He kissed back without hesitation. The tip of his nose was icy where it pressed into her face, but his lips were warm and soft as ever. God, she’d never get sick of kissing him.

But she would shove a handful of snow down the collar of his jacket. 

He yelped and pulled away. “Fuck! Lex!”

“You’re welcome. Now give me the keys. You said Henry wanted you home for dinner.” 

* * *

Lex hoped that Hannah would forget the whole thing. That her fascination with “Green Santa” would turn into a joke, something Lex could tease her about when she hit high school. 

Sometimes she felt like the universe was laughing at her.

Hannah was insistent that Ethan wasn’t joking or guessing about his twin brother. She was positive that her letter would do exactly what a letter to Santa was meant to do, even though she gave it to Ethan instead of mailing it. That was maybe better, actually, because Ethan could tell Lex what it said and they could figure out some presents.

That is, if Ethan would cooperate.

“No-can-do, Lex,” he said, wandering with her down the grocery store aisles. “The kid sends a letter to Santa, only Santa can read it. Them’s always been the rules.”

“Are you seriously planning on sending it to that poor actor and hoping he’ll help?”

He tossed a box of cheap candy canes into her basket and made a face. “No, it’s going to the North Pole,  _ duh. _ ”

“You can’t just promise her Christmas and then not even try to deliver.”

“Who said I wasn’t going to deliver?” His eye caught on the baking aisle. “Hey, you should make cookies with her. You know, for the milk and cookies?”

Lex sighed and grabbed a package of cookie dough. “I hope you have a plan, because we barely even have a tree.”

Mom was gone for Christmas, just like she always was. She was probably out at some club or another and would drift between dingy hotel rooms until New Year’s. It was shitty of her, sure, but it also meant she was out of the way. 

Out of the way of  _ what,  _ Lex didn’t exactly know. 

She’d done everything she could. They were down to their last two cookies, wrapped in tinfoil in the fridge with “For Santa” sharpied across the top. She’d raided a few holiday toy drives and her own closet for things she could wrap up and stick under the scraggly tree out behind the trailer. Ethan had promised Hannah a visit from Santa, and Lex would be damned if she didn’t get  _ something. _

Hannah went to bed on Christmas Eve with visions of sugar plums, apparently. Somehow, despite her frantic energy, saying that “Santa will only come when you’re asleep” managed to shut her up. As Lex said goodnight, Hannah looked up at her sleepily. 

“Webby says Santa’s on his way.”

“He’d better be,” Lex said. 

“You don’t like him.” It was more observation than question.

Lex sighed. “I just hope he keeps his promises. There’s nothing wrong with him, okay? Try to get some sleep.” She flicked the lights off and started to close the door.

“Santa’s good. Webby says he’s good.” Hanna’s words stalled Lex in the doorway. “Ethan’s good.”

“Goodnight Banana.”

She wanted to bash her head against the door after she shut it behind her. Still on the whole “Ethan is Santa” thing. It wasn’t even about  _ Santa Claus  _ anymore. If Lex was only keeping up a charade of classic holiday cheer, she wouldn’t mind as much. Everyone had to pretend that Santa was real for the sake of a kid. 

But her _fucking_ boyfriend— 

Hannah was right. Ethan  _ was  _ good. But he’d also promised Hannah a miracle, and it didn’t look like he was gonna follow through. He’d been “busy” an awful lot lately, unable to help Lex with her shopping or decorations or fucking  _ anything. _ He hadn’t answered her texts at any point in the last twenty-four hours, hadn’t even opened them, and if she wasn’t so pissed, she might’ve been worried. 

He’d better be wrangling a fucking red-nosed-reindeer for Hannah, or Lex was gonna kick his ass. 

She awoke at the crack of dawn to the sound of knocks at the front door. For fuck’s sake. She stumbled to answer it with bleary eyes, and came face-to-face with Ethan. He was dusting snowflakes out of his hair.

“Merry Christmas, Babe.”

“Ethan, I swear to god. The sun’s not even up.”

He shrugged. “It’s light out.” Lex rolled her eyes and let him in. 

“So did Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick show up?” he asked.

“You’re worse than Hannah.” Lex made her way into the kitchen and flicked on the rusty coffee maker. Resting her elbows on the counter, she glared at Ethan. “Why? Did you think he actually would?”

He was digging around in the fridge, speaking in the direction of the ketchup bottle. “Hey, you’re the one who told me about all that interdimensional shit that happened with the Wiggly dolls. Doesn’t seem so far-fetched to me.” He stood and looked back at her. “Did you guys eat all those cookies?”

“All except the ones we were leaving out for Santa. You can have them. Wouldn’t want Hannah thinking he didn’t show…” Lex looked at Ethan, who was regarding her with raised eyebrows and a glint in his eyes. “What?”

He nodded towards the now-empty plate next to her. She hadn’t even looked at it, but the cookies were gone, except for a few crumbs. The milk they’d left had vanished too, with only a dribble left in the glass. Lex certainly hadn’t touched it. She was planning to before bed, while she was putting out presents, but honestly… Well, she was kind of curious. Hannah knew that Santa would come, and Lex was a cynic, but she also knew Hannah was usually right. 

This time included, apparently.

Right on time, Hannah stumbled into the kitchen, with all the early-morning enthusiasm expected of a kid on Christmas morning. 

“Ethan!” she said.

“Hey, Banana. How’d you sleep?”

Hannah yawned. “I heard Santa in the backyard. Webby said to go back to bed.”

Ethan leaned on the counter. “Good call from the spider, kid. It’s against the rules to see Santa delivering your presents.”

Hannah’s eyes lit up at  _ presents. _ She turned and dashed in the direction of the dirt-lot backyard. Lex scrutinized Ethan, whose eyes were twinkling, even in the dimly-lit kitchen.

“What did  _ you _ do last night?” She asked, plunking a chipped mug on the counter and pouring herself some coffee. 

He smiled. “Who’s to say? Maybe I decided to play Grinch and steal all the Christmas in town and bring it here.”

_ God,  _ she hated him sometimes. “What the fuck?”

“Evil twin, remember?” Ethan winked. “No, but seriously, just the normal Christmas Eve stuff. Had to endure Henry’s jingle bells medley concert. He wanted to go caroling but you know he’s a maniac shut-in, so he didn’t want to actually go outside in case he ran into Krampus or some shit. Meant he was bothering me instead of the neighbors.”

“Lexi?” Hannah’s voice called from across the trailer. “There’s a reindeer.”

She almost spilled coffee everywhere with how quickly she crossed their house. 

The dirt backyard had been completely transformed. A fine powder of snow lay over the dust, frosting the world like gingerbread. The scraggly pine tree had been decked in tinsel and ribbon. Its top branch drooped under the weight of a glittery star. A pile of colorful boxes shone like jewels in the sunrise, each one wrapped with crisp creases and neat ribbon bows. And indeed, a young reindeer snuffled through the lot, reins loose and jingling with tiny bells. “Holy shit.”

Ethan laughed at her side and threw an arm over her shoulder. “Merry Christmas, ladies.”

They gathered around the tree. Lex and Ethan sat bundled in a blanket on the trailer’s tailgate, sharing her coffee. Hannah, after cautiously introducing herself to the apparently tame reindeer, had spread out a second blanket for her gift-unwrapping picnic. She was methodical with it, her excitement not preventing her from carefully unfolding the paper on each gift and laying it neatly in a stack to the side. 

Lex snuggled into Ethan’s side. “How did you do all this?” She asked. 

“Who said it was me? Santa’s the one—” Lex glared at him, and he cut off with a sheepish smile. “Well, Rudolph was for a holiday spirit promotional stunt at the community college, and I’ve got a connection who let me borrow him…”

“I don’t care about the reindeer.” Though the irony of her bitter thoughts from last night were not lost on her. 

Ethan shrugged. “Eh. Hand-me-downs, toy drives, dumpster diving, called in a favor from Christopher Kringle.”

Lex rolled her eyes. “Fine. Don’t tell me.” Hannah gasped from across the yard, staring in awe at a stuffed spider, still nestled in a wreath of paper. Even from a distance, Lex could tell it was much nicer than anything Ethan could’ve found at any shitty charity handout. Especially when it was almost identical to Hannah’s descriptions and drawings of Webby over the years. 

“I, uh—” Ethan cleared his throat. “I do have a present for you, too.” He pulled a tiny brass key from his pocket and pressed it into her hand. His fingers were trembling against hers, and not just from the cold. “I didn’t wrap it or anything, but—”

She locked eyes with him. “Is this—?”

He fidgeted, averting his gaze. “Just. I know that I’m the one who nearly got myself killed. I’m the reason you’re stuck here instead of in Cali, and well…” He swallowed, adam’s apple bobbing. “It’s not Hollywood, but it’s better than staying with your mom. You’d have to get used to my uncle, but he’s got plenty of space, and Hannah has seemed to like him when you guys have visited, so I don’t know that it would be a problem with Webby...”

Lex shook her head, unable to form a coherent sentence. “Ethan, I—”

“The key’s kinda just symbolic, you know—” He was rambling now. “What with the house being a bunker and everything, but I thought this would be better than just giving you the secret passwords, though I guess you’ll need those too—” 

Lex shut him up with a kiss, quick and soft. “You’re a dumbass,” she said, nestling herself into his shoulder. 

He laughed and pressed another kiss to her hairline. “So do you like it?”

She looked out at the winter morning: at her sister with joy painted across her face and a plush arachnid in her lap, at the confectioner’s sugar snow shimmering in the dawn, and even at the stupid little reindeer. 

Lex closed her hand tightly around the piece of pressed metal in her palm. “It’s perfect,” she said. And then, because that was corny, “Merry fucking Christmas.”

**Author's Note:**

> Black Friday and quarantine have joined forces to get me back into fic writing. This took me like two months to write, because I'm kinda rusty, but I hope it was worth it.   
> Yes, I wrote a Christmas fic in the middle of spring. I'm not sorry.   
> I left the Ethan/Santa connection kinda ambiguous on purpose.   
> I adore feedback, so please feel free to tell me what you think!   
> <3


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